Archive - Looking Forward

When emotions become stirred..

by LifeBegins @ 23/06/2008 – 11:40:07

Which happened on Friday evening. I'd been out with my friend Tina and Vince had been out with some work colleagues. I got dropped off home at about 10.20 and Vince was in the kitchen, cooking some sauces for the weekends meals. We had a drink together and listened to some of his music, then the following song came on and Vince 'dedicated' it to me...

Now I can understand maybe why he feels like this, yes I have walked away from him in the past, so I apologised; to which Vince stopped the track and told me that I didn't undersatnd at all, so I asked for him to explain. It turns out that he played this track over and over last year! Nothing to do with the previous years, but to do with me being in contact with him last year, being honest with him (I thought) telling him about my involvement with the ex (everything!) and how I wasn't in a fit state to have a relationship with him but valued his friendship.

We talked at length, but you know what, I'm still confused!! I still don't really understand how or why I caused him pain last year???

I don't usually do this but...

by LifeBegins @ 20/06/2008 – 11:26:07

Received this via email and thought I'd share it..

A Tale of Two Prawns

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were

swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called

Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and

threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a

prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries

about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted."

Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten

by his old mate. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin

found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply

swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize

that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he

thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a

prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and,

low and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his

friends and bought them all a cocktail (the punch line does not

involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the

gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides

to the enemy & became a shark," came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and

torture, He set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral

gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and

shouted: "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me

again."

Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark,

the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've

changed........."

(You're going to love this.....)

"I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian."

Moving along..

by LifeBegins @ 19/06/2008 – 12:59:43

Driving to work this morning Vince casually mentioned that he'd exchanged emails with his letting agent about giving notice on his flat....... YIIPPPEEEE!!!!!!

The curse of sherry!!!

by LifeBegins @ 18/06/2008 – 11:00:10

I used to drink sherry in my teenage years and I moved into my flat with an unopened litre bottle of Harvey's that I'd had for some time. Well last night, whilst Vince was cooking, for some strange reason I decided to have 'a sherry'. The evening wore on and so did the amount of sherry I drank until, the bottle was empty and I was put to bed

I felt ok first thing this morning, but now, sitting at work, my head is throbbing and I feel ever so slightly sick. Have also just checked my mobile and for some bizarre reason, after being put into bed I text Vince, who was in the lounge, and asked him to marry me!! His reply??? If you promise no sherry at the reception x

Slipping...

by LifeBegins @ 16/06/2008 – 14:09:13

Ooopps! Can't believe nearly two weeks has slipped by without me making a blog entry! I have been here, most days, catching up on all your posts, but as things seem to be fairly 'normal' in my life at the moment I didn't want to bore you all!

Vince and I have been getting along fine since his trip to Edinburgh, very well infact!! He hasn't exactly moved in yet, but he hasn't slept at his own flat in over 6 weeks! He's mentioned giving his own place up, but I can understand the need for both of us to maintain a degree of independance, so I haven't forced the issue. However, a matching flat-pack wardrobe was delivered to mine on Saturday so that he has somewhere for all his clothes!! Saturday also marked our 3 month '1/4versary' again, I can't quite believe where the time has gone!

It's now only 14 weeks (tomorrow) until our holiday to Gozo. I really must go on a diet between now and then, well, maybe from tomorrow! Tonight I'm taking Vince to a bowls competition over in Solihull and there's a really nice country pub over that way that does good food that I've been dying to take him to as a way of saying 'Thank You' for the Cotswolds weekend, so tonight is my opportunity! Which reminds me, did I mention that when he bought his new 'red,white & blue' bowls I also purchased a pair? They're bright yellow and weigh 2lbs 2ozs each and look like a couple of grapefuits on the green, but as I'm only playing for fun, I don't mind the jokes!!

Anyway, I'm off now to comment on some blogs, and to do some proper work. Will speak to you soon!!

And the day just gets better!!

by LifeBegins @ 03/06/2008 – 12:39:22

Well actually it doesn't! Vince has just called, he's being sent to Edinburgh on the 8.30 flight this evening until Friday. As his small suitcase is at mine, he will collect a few items from his flat and make his way over to mine where we'll meet and I'll drive him to the airport. Hmmmm.... I seem to remember being a total wreck the last time I had to leave him at the airport.

A bump on Relationship Road

by LifeBegins @ 03/06/2008 – 09:15:38

Well I guess things can't always go smoothly, my only problem is I don't know what to do ar say for the best. I'm miffed, no actually I'm angry, and when I'm angry I tend to say things I later regret, so I'm here venting my frustration to you guys and hopefully getting some good advice in return.

When I dropped Vince off yesterday morning we'd made plans for dinner, I was cooking! He mentioned he may have a couple of drinks after work and would ring when he was on his way so that I could 'time the dinner'. Time ticked by. At just after 9 my mobile rang, I could see it was Vince but by then I was already miffed and so didn't answer. He didn't leave it ringing for long and didn't call back! At 9.12 I received a text 'Got a quiz going. Be home soon. Blame Patrick x' So did that mean he was on his way or not? I went to bed, I'd lost my appetite anyway. 23.12 another text 'Nearly there, sorry I'm late x' Totally pissed off by now, tried very hard to fall asleep.

He appeared around 23.30, stuck his head around the bedroom door asked if I was ok and then went to watch his 'Hollyoaks' spin off thing on tv. I woke up at 1.20, Vince was still in the lounge and asleep. Against my better judgement I went in and woke him up telling him to come to bed which he did. He did try to cuddle me, well he flung his arm around me before falling asleep. I got up early this morning, not sure what I might say so decided it was probably better I stayed out of his way. In the lounge I found a sachet of ketchup and in the kitchen bin the remains of his supper which he'd brought home with him! Again I could feel myself getting angry.

The drive to his this morning was 'strained' I actually commented that he was quiet without much of a response. He asked about dinner tonight, his turn to cook and I commented that we'd still got last nights ingredients as I had been waiting for a call? He said that he had called and I'd not answered!!!! Anyway he could reuse some of the things! As he got out the car I said 'See you later' (habit) to which he replied 'If you're lucky' (although he was grinning) Well, I'm afraid that pushed me over the edge and I snapped back something along the lines of, 'Well if that's how you feel don't bother' He did stick his head through my window for a kiss, he received a peck, then I drove off!

Now I'm at work, still feeling miffed. I know that he's been a single bloke for nearly 42 years, and I don't want to change him or impose 'rules' on him. All I wanted was for him to tell me that he wasn't going to be back for dinner so that I could have sorted myself out, am I being unreasonable? How do I put my point across without sounding like a nagging partner already?? Do I just let it go as a one off and hope it doesn't happen again, or should I make it clear how I feel about things from the start? I know it may sound as if I've blown this out of proportion, but I don't intend becoming the doormat I was when I was married.

Time Flies!!!

by LifeBegins @ 02/06/2008 – 15:15:22

Where does time go to? I can't believe that we are already into June!

My neice and nephew in Holland break up for their summer holidays in a week's time and my sister has to pack up their dutch home and move back to the UK. They have found a nice house to rent, initially, in Upper Poppleton just outside of York and can collect the keys on 1st July. Can't quite believe that they have been abroad for 3 1/2 years; it really is true that the older you get the quicker time seems to pass! So it's with this thought that I've started pondering my future (with Vince of course) Why don't we go off travelling? I know that 'students' take gap years so why not us? We're older (should be wiser) and without responsibilities so why not?? All I have to do now is decide where it is I'd like to go!!!