Had a good day at work, on a Stress & Relaxation course this morning and this afternoon passed quickly. Think I was still on a high from my night out and looking forward to going bowling tomorrow night with some people at work. A friend called round this evening and I recalled my visit to the clairvoyant and last night's antics and then one of my closer 'girl friends' telephoned.
Again the conversation was light and friendly but she mentioned ex and suddenly I'm confused. My 'high' instantly became a 'low' and now I'm just mixed up. She knows not to mention ex, she knows how hard I try not to put 'mutual' friends in awkward situations and I know that she still has contact with ex but I never ask for information. She told me that he'd been round last week to keep her car running (a long story) and that in itself didn't bother me.
The comment that did was, "He asked if I'd got a sat-nav" Now my mind started to race, why did he want to know?, why would he want to borrow one?, where is he off to?, who with???? I know I have no right to ask these questions or know the answers but I can't help myself from wondering. I know, I know, I must let go, move on with my own life, not worry about what anyone else, particularly him, are up to. I thought I was 'getting by' quite nicely, on a fairly even keel, so why on earth should this random comment throw me so much? Is it because today is exactly 5 months since we last saw and spoke to each other? Am I not as far along the road to recovery as I thought because I'm still counting the time apart in months? Will it all get easier on 3rd May when we'll have been divorced for a complete year???
Oh bugger!!!
http://www.kirstyskrafts.com
2008-03-06 @ 22:49