Sorry, just haven't felt much like posting lately although I am up-to-date with reading everyone else's blogs! In comparison my life just seems dull and uninteresting!
Went out on Saturday to a dating site 'meet'. A grand total of 9 turned up. I was the only single female and there were 3 'available' males. All pleasant enough but not really my type. Was persuaded to go on to a night club (oh my god it's been years - they actually allow jeans in them nowadays!!) but really wanted to leave at just gone midnight. Had agreed to share a lift and had to wait until 2.45! even tried to sneak out to get a taxi but was dragged back! A little taken aback when one of the guys (much younger than me) made a lunge for me on the dance floor and kissed me! Not really into being kissed by blokes I hardly know!
Today has been my 'day off' and I'm pleased to announce that I have single handedly replaced my front door bell! I have also cleaned my 'little pad' from top to bottom and changed all the bed linen. I have also sold some stuff on ebay, things that I haven't touched since I moved in, so hopefully the extra bit of cash will help me avoid going overdrawn this Christams.
I have 2 works Christmas parties to go to this week, one tomorrow evening a dinner & disco at a hotel in Birmingham centre and one Friday evening at a social club. Hence the need for the money from ebay!! Then Saturday I'm being taken to an Ann Summers party by my Mom!
So sounds like I'm busy, which I am, but that doesn't mean that I've turned the corner just yet. Being busy doesn't help when you're lying in bed alone at night. I know that I must change my 'attitude' put the past behind me and move on, and I think that I am, but no matter how hard I try, my past is also part of me and at times I want to reflect and remember certain things.
I think I have finally accepted the fact that ex and I are no longer a couple, sounds strange seeing as how we divorced in May, but part of me still wanted us to be a couple. That part of me has now accepted that it is over, that our marriage died and I am still sad about that.
I also have realised that ex really was right when he said 'I'm no good for you' and I think that if ever the chance to 'get together' again happened, I wouldn't jump at the chance but think about it knowing that in reality it would be a disaster for me. It's now been just over 9 weeks since we last saw each other and I see no reason why this will change. Ok so I have posted his slippers back to him along with a Christmas card, but don't expect that to be enough of a reason for him to contact me. I predict that time will pass, the New Year will come, what would have been our 16th wedding anniversay will pass (2nd Jan), my 41st birthday will happen and then it will be a year since we divorced. And maybe, just maybe I might be able to start thinking about him as a friend.
