Just a quick entry as although it's my day off and I'd planned catching up on some sleep, I have to take my mother to the hospital this afternoon to discuss the results of a scan she had yesterday that has shown a growth in her womb! 

Vince also came home last night and has been told he's off to Dublin today until Friday/Saturday, then back to Dublin Monday for the week with the possibility of another week after that!!

Work is still not occupying me (hence this entry now).  I really need to decide whether I look for something else or plan my escape to the sun! Evenings and weekends when not seeing my Mom or friends, are mainly taken up spending time with Vince, either bowling or just chilling in the flat.  I have to say that I've never been so happy, nor have I laughed so much; I'm sure my neighbours must wonder what's going on sometimes!!  His wardrobe is now built and a suitcase full of clothes appeared yesterday.  We still haven't spoken about a 'moving in date' as such but as he always stays at mine, I guess it's as if he's moved in already anyway!

My only problem, if you can call it that, is the fact I'm still having difficulty adjusting to being just 'a partner'.  That may sound stange , but what I mean is, when I was married I was 'a wife' and along with that came certain expectations and/or obligations.  As a partner I have to take a step backwards and allow him his independence, space to still be an individual, not always part of a couple.  Not that I suffocated my husband you understand but I think I'm still finding it difficult when he goes out with the lads or out on works do's (which seem to happen most Friday evenings) even though he always returns home to me.  Maybe it's just my own insecurities making me paranoid.  I do trust him (unlike the ex) and I know that he trusts me.  I guess I've just got to learn to 'go with the flow', not worry about problems or situations which don't exist, learn to relax and enjoy it, after all he does make me so very happy!

A Tale of Two Prawns

 Far  away  in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were

 (You're going to love this.....)

I felt ok first thing this morning, but now, sitting at work, my head is throbbing and I feel ever so slightly sick.  Have also just checked my mobile and for some bizarre reason, after being put into bed I text Vince, who was in the lounge, and asked him to marry me!! His reply???  If you promise no sherry at the reception x

Vince and I have been getting along fine since his trip to Edinburgh, very well infact!!  He hasn't exactly moved in yet, but he hasn't slept at his own flat in over 6 weeks!  He's mentioned giving his own place up, but I can understand the need for both of us to maintain a degree of independance, so I haven't forced the issue. However, a matching flat-pack wardrobe was delivered to mine on Saturday so that he has somewhere for all his clothes!!  Saturday also marked our 3 month '1/4versary' again, I can't quite believe where the time has gone!

It's now only 14 weeks (tomorrow) until our holiday to Gozo.  I really must go on a diet between now and then, well, maybe from tomorrow!  Tonight I'm taking Vince to a bowls competition over in Solihull and there's a really nice country pub over that way that does good food that I've been dying to take him to as a way of saying 'Thank You' for the Cotswolds weekend, so tonight is my opportunity!  Which reminds me, did I mention that when he bought his new 'red,white & blue' bowls I also purchased a pair? They're bright yellow and weigh 2lbs 2ozs each and look like a couple of grapefuits on the green, but as I'm only playing for fun, I don't mind the jokes!!

When I dropped Vince off yesterday morning we'd made plans for dinner, I was cooking!  He mentioned he may have a couple of drinks after work and would ring when he was on his way so that I could 'time the dinner'.  Time ticked by.  At just after 9 my mobile rang, I could see it was Vince but by then I was already miffed and so didn't answer.  He didn't leave it ringing for long and didn't call back!  At 9.12 I received a text 'Got a quiz going.  Be home soon. Blame Patrick x' So did that mean he was on his way or not?  I went to bed, I'd lost my appetite anyway. 23.12 another text 'Nearly there, sorry I'm late x' Totally pissed off by now, tried very hard to fall asleep. 

He appeared around 23.30, stuck his head around the bedroom door asked if I was ok and then went to watch his 'Hollyoaks' spin off thing on tv.  I woke up at 1.20, Vince was still in the lounge and asleep.  Against my better judgement I went in and woke him up telling him to come to bed which he did.  He did try to cuddle me, well he flung his arm around me before falling asleep.  I got up early this morning, not sure what I might say so decided it was probably better I stayed out of his way.  In the lounge I found a sachet of ketchup and in the kitchen bin the remains of his supper which he'd brought home with him!  Again I could feel myself getting angry.

The drive to his this morning was 'strained' I actually commented that he was quiet without much of a response.  He asked about dinner tonight, his turn to cook and I commented that we'd still got last nights ingredients as I had been waiting for a call?  He said that he had called and I'd not answered!!!!  Anyway he could reuse some of the things!  As he got out the car I said 'See you later' (habit) to which he replied 'If you're lucky' (although he was grinning)  Well, I'm afraid that pushed me over the edge and I snapped back something along the lines of, 'Well if that's how you feel don't bother'  He did stick his head through my window for a kiss, he received a peck, then I drove off!

Now I'm at work, still feeling miffed.  I know that he's been a single bloke for nearly 42 years, and I don't want to change him or impose 'rules' on him.  All I wanted was for him to tell me that he wasn't going to be back for dinner so that I could have sorted myself out, am I being unreasonable?  How do I put my point across without sounding like a nagging partner already??  Do I just let it go as a one off and hope it doesn't happen again, or should I make it clear how I feel about things from the start?  I know it may sound as if I've blown this out of proportion, but I don't intend becoming the doormat I was when I was married.